There's No Place Like Home...

My neighbor and I always joke about how this jive village that we live in is total WT land (translation: white trash land). I say this with nothing but love in my heart - really. And by the way, this is an equal opportunity WT Land - no discriminating here. If you've visited or lived here, you are laughing right now because you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

The catalyst for my writing this post was a special little event that happened when I took Christian, Camryn and a friend of Camryn's (let's call her, oh I don't know..."Gabby") to one of the many fine playgrounds here in Northwood V. I was catching up with an old friend on the phone when our pleasant conversation was interrupted with,

Me: Oh my holy freak'n crap!

Old Friend: What???

Me: I swear, this place rocks, Camryn and her friend "Gabby" are standing next to a tree and "Gabby" is totally taking a pee! Right in front of someone's apartment!

Old Friend: just laughing

While I fully understand that kids will be kids, the reason why this joint gets the title WT Land is because while "Gabby" was relieving herself, someone walked by and, well, it just didn't seem to phase him......Nice.

So in true Jeff Foxworthy fashion, here is my rendition of YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN WT LAND WHEN...


You have no problem nailing your strips of used carpet to the floor.

Your kids' good friends are the chipmunks that seem to have forgotten that they're wild little animals.

You are advised by fellow Northwoodians to drill holes in your living room floor to run cable and computer wire "stuff" to the dungeon downstairs.

In buying a portable dishwasher, you double your kitchen counter top space.

The first thing your 2 year old does when he sees a spider is run for the nearest shoe - and then flick the carcass down the hole you just drilled for your cable wires.

You have no problem killing ants with your bare hands.

You have to plunge the toilet BOTH before and after doing your business.

Outsiders, having never shopped at a WT Land garage sale, have a hard time distinguishing between garbage and what's for sale.

Your son comes home from school and asks, "Hey wasn't that toy kitchen at the dumpster yesterday?" Then you excitedly declare, "Yes, wasn't it a great find!"

When grocery carts are used as dollies for transporting heavy objects.

When you take you children for walk and your kid asks, "Mommy, why are there so many grocery carts behind the dumpster?" And you find comfort in the fact that you won't have to look far for a "dollie" when you move.

When the reason you're excited for someone to move is so that you'll be able to "steal" their rocks for your own garden when they leave. Thank goodness for shopping carts.

When the other reason why you're excited for someone to move is so that you can "steal" the plants out of their garden.

When you find your kid playing in your neighbor's trash that got ripped apart by a raccoon the night before.


OK, OK, I swear I could go on and on, but I think I peed a little, so I must stop. Joel, get the plunger ready.

Oh sweet mercy, I love living here!

Gratitude...

So I've been stuck in a "blah" place this last month. I know it's going to get better soon because my "blahness" will be replaced with gratitude that we have our Joellie back. He's been on his OB rotation this month and I've HATED it! He's been gone constantly (it seems anyway). His last day is Thursday and then we'll be able to enjoy "family time" again.

The weather has been so incredible this last week so I just can't allow myself to feel this "blahness" any longer! So even though Joel will be home more next month, I know that I have to figure out a way to bust out of the mundane entirely on my own. Something that usually works with me is to verbalize or write down the things for which I am grateful....

Quiet time in the afternoon when Christian is sleeping and Camryn is off playing with friends.

Taking care of my tiny, but thriving spring garden.

Getting a pedicure with good friends.

Enjoying a beautiful spring evening outside with friends and family.

Waking up to the sounds of birds singing and the sun creeping through my blinds.

And finally, I'm grateful to my great family and friends that made my 33rd (I know, I'm getting old!) birthday special. I was all alone (Joel was on call - like last year) on my birthday and I just figured it was going to suck again. Thankfully, the weather was beautiful and I kept getting little surprises throughout the day.

My cute neighbors got the kids to decorate a fun poster card for me. JD made me 2 hilarious birthday cards. In fact, I'm going to take a picture of them so that I'll always remember how dang cute he can be. He made me a "Champion" card because he said I'm the best mom in the world! How cute! He made the 2nd card quite early Saturday morning while I was still asleep. It has a built-in spring attached so that, "...when you shake it, it bounces up and down."

Joel surprised me with a new pocket camera and some amazing tulips. Some great friends surprised me with more beautiful tulips, a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble and a cool bookmark (they know me so well!). I received quite a few cards, ecards and phone calls throughout the day from the awesome people in my life. I just loved my birthday this year because I was reminded that I have wonderful folks surrounding me.

And that is certainly something to be grateful for.

Wow, it worked...I'm in a good mood already!

Bye-Bye Uncle 'Thaniel!

Darn it...I didn't keep my original goal of posting at least once a week. I'm such a loser! Why do I even wake up in the morning?? Well, if it helps we were having way too much fun with our favorite uncle (sorry, did that offend anyone??.....ok, ONE of our favorite uncles) - Nathaniel.

So Joel's little bro Nathaniel is leaving us for 2 years! He's giving up his fun life at BYU, his cute little girlfriend and all of his adoring nieces and nephews to serve the Lord in Korea! We'll miss him tons, but are so excited to be part of his experience. The kids want to write him and Joel and I really want to visit him in Korea when he's done.

We decided to fly Nathaniel out for a few days so that we could make a few memories before his departure. We took lots of pictures and had a great time catching up. Here are some of the pictures we took during our festivities:

Loves with Christian at Jungle Java, puzzles with Camryn
and making these adorable little bread bunnies with JD.

Joel was on call on Sunday so we went to the hospital to eat lunch
with our daddy. We also stopped by the CVC atrium to get some great photos:

Oh how cute...this was taken when Christian was born.
They haven't changed much - still cute as ever

We had to do a "trade" with Gammy (she lives 2 hours away) and
say good-bye to our Nathaniel. We had a nice lunch together,
shed a few tears in the parking lot and sent him on his way.

On a personal note, I just love Nathaniel! He's like the little brother I never had (ha ha..just kidding Frank!). We lived in Cleveland together for 2 months while Joel jumped around on different medical rotations. He put up with my "moodiness" (honestly....my "breakdowns"). We were so desperate to get out of the house that I finally rented a car and took him with us (JD, Camryn & moi) to totally lame activities around Ohio. We even ventured to a mailbox factory that didn't even exist!

Good times.

He has changed so dramatically since that time! He has turned into this awesome young man. He has a clear vision for his life (as much as you can at this stage I guess) and isn't afraid of anything. He is going to redefine what it means to be a missionary (in a good way!). It's what he was born to do! We love him tremendously and hope he follows in Joel's footsteps to become a doctor - just so we can keep him close!

We love you Nathaniel & good luck in Korea!

This is a clip of what Nathaniel got to do for 3 days straight.
I thought it was GREAT, but I think Nathaniel got worn out!

Suck it up and keep running...

So for the last 2 days (give or take a few!), I've been feeling sorry for myself - way too much. It came to a head today and I was blessed by the good Lord with some perspective.

Joel has one year (actually 15 months, but who's counting!) of residency left. While this is terribly exciting for us (considering the 7 years we've been at this), reality is stomping on our blissful dreams.

There is this powerful force that has gotten me through 7 years of medical school and residency: Being able to envision what life will be like when we're done. I don't mean that in a materialistic "Oooo look at all the things I can buy" kind of way, but in a "I'm so grateful for security, education and freedom" kind of way. Like an arrival of sorts. I think anyone that sacrifices a great deal of time, money and energy for what they think will provide a better life for their family understands what I'm talking about. This powerful force has gotten me through some pretty stressful times over the past few years - you know "mind over matter" stuff.

Anyway, so once reality hit me about what life will truly be like in the "real world," I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for a few days. For some strange reason I've been holding onto this false notion that the heavens will open and pour sweet manna down on the Gardner clan simply for graduating from residency into private practice. Over these last few years, I've been thinking of our experience as a journey with a distinct end in sight. However, my perspective shifted today and I'm grateful for that.

I've been lucky enough to have quite a few friends warn me that once you get into the "real world" life doesn't change a whole lot from residency, "...sure you get paid more, but you are responsible for PAYING for a whole lot more than ever before...oh, and your husband actually has to work all the time to PAY for everything!" So now that we're to the point of seeking out future employment, my blissfully happy world that I have carefully envisioned for ourselves is reeking of reality.

I've been looking at real estate on-line for the last few days in locations that we would consider living. Not a good idea when you still have 15 months left! The only thing it has done is make me long to bust out of this place while at the same time depressing me that we won't be able to afford a big old 20,000 sq ft. house (ok, I'm exaggerating, but you get the point) like I had "envisioned" all these years. Also, I've realized that Joel will still have to be "on call" in the real world. I have no idea how I didn't allow this to sink in until now, but it's been really depressing me to know that I'll never get my husband 100% of the time when he's home - he'll have "home call" and "weekend call" to deal with.

These thoughts of self pity put me in such a bad mood! Joel came home this morning from being on-call for 24 hours and could tell that I was tired and depressed so he offered to take the kids to breakfast so I could rest - such a nice guy. I indulged myself to wallow for a bit and acted like a turd - as thanks. Our day could have been ruined, but the Lord decided to teach me a lesson instead.

The only thing I hate worse about being around people who complain and are depressed all the time is when I'm the person doing the complaining. So, while I was putting Christian down for his nap this afternoon, I prayed (something I do a lot when I rock my kids), "Lord, help me change this attitude - help me be grateful for what I have!"

So the Lord recognized this "teaching moment" and blessed me with a more powerful and accurate "vision" for my future. This is what it was...

So imagine you've been running in a race and you're tired and the only thing that has kept you going is the freak'n awesome music on your iPod AND the realization that the finish line is just around the corner. So imagine your disappointment upon arrival when the crowd doesn't jump up and down and shower you with praise. Instead, there is a single person there to inform you that the race isn't over. The person points to a huge mountain in the distance and tells you that the finish line is on the other side of the mountain. So you think to yourself, "OK, what kind of choice am I going to make - what kind of person do I want to be?" My attitude adjusted immediately. I love the way the Lord works.

I came downstairs and my conversation with Joel went something like this:
Heather: Well.....I repented
Joel: It's about time.
Heather: I had an epiphany.
Joel: Oh really - what's that?

I shared my story and then asked,

Heather: So what kind of woman do you think I decided to be? The one who fell apart at what she thought was the finish line, or the one who kept running?"

As any good husband would answer,

Joel: The one who kept running.

Heather: Actually, both. I'm the one who cried when the mean messenger man broke my spirit. I'm the one who got ticked and told the annoying messenger where to go. I'm the one who finally decided to "suck it up and keep running" because the alternative sucked even worse. AND, most importantly, I'm the one who repented while I was running because I wasn't very nice to the messenger.

Joel: Nice analogy.... So was I running beside you towards the big mountain?

Joel probably wishes I would be "that girl" that says stuff like, "Of course my love - you encourage and inspire me like no other!" But, he knows me all too well...

Heather: Ummm, I didn't really notice, I was too busy pushing a stroller - oh, with a kid strapped to my back too!

We both laughed.

That was how my paradigm shifted. There is no "finish line" in life - just big mountains we have to climb. We also get sweet hills to "coast" down, but sadly those sweet moments don't usually elicit repentance and paradigm shifts. At least not for me. I think the Lord likes to "toughen" us up. After all, of what use are we to Him if we're just a bunch of wimps!

I love how the Lord works: He waits for us to be humble and ask for help. When that actually happens, we can be taught.

Spotlight of the Month: Camryn...

I've been busy creating a DVD for Camryn this last month, so it's only natural that she is the spotlight for the month of April. I have been getting a kick out of sifting through old pictures and video clips of my little chiquita banana these last few weeks. It's been enjoyable to take a trip down memory lane...


When I found out that I was going to have a little girl, I experienced a brief moment of shock. For some strange reason, I had envisioned myself as being a mother of boys. So when the ultrasound tech announced we were going to have a girl, I was completely surprised. What was I supposed to do with a girl? The circumstances around the time of my pregnancy with Camryn were less than ideal. It was Joel's 2nd year of med school (which ranks up there as one of the worst years of my life - THE worst was his 1st year of med school!) and I was commuting an hour each day to work (in a car with an air conditioner that worked about 2/3 of the time - not fun in Arizona!).



When Camryn was born, I was an official stay-at-homer. I was grateful for that - I was ready to move on from teaching. It took JD some time to adjust to his new role as big brother, but he eventually learned that kicking his sister in the face (sad, but true) and rough housing with an infant quickly changed his happy little world into...well, you get the point...so did he...eventually. Once JD made the transition from beating his sister to protecting her, I knew they would be good buds. That they are.



Camryn is quite a little social butterfly. She is obsessed with playing with friends. Thankfully we live in a community that is ideal for that. She's got at least a dozen friends within walking distance that she can play with on any given day. In fact she's at her good buddy Brittani's house as I write this! Sometimes I eavesdrop on her play dates just so I can get a laugh. It usually works - kids really do say the darndest things!

There are so many things I love about Camryn. She used (and I am very sad that she quit) to make her own & JD's bed in the morning because she heard her mother calling him a stinker for not making his bed.


I love how she takes a bath with all of her 23 little ponies and insists on washing and combing each of their manes before getting out. I love how she says, "Come find me, I'm hiding," even though it's totally obvious where she is (usually behind the couch).




I love her quirky sense of style. She has quite a talent with putting together interesting outfits - matched by her rock'n awesome pink barbie cowboy boots (that christian likes to wear). She loves to eat cucumbers & carrots with Ranch dressing ("white sauce") and chocolate milk for breakfast. I love how she triple headbands her hair and tells me that she's prettier than me, "...but you're still pretty Mom, you can keep trying to look like me." She loves to be the "snack helper" at Joyschool & asks every week if we're going to be the "hosts" for her school friends.


I love how she asks me to play with her because she knows she can boss me around and I'll do what she asks. I've learned in my old age that it's so much easier to just go along with it. I love that once she decides that she can indeed play alone, she'll play and sing to herself for hours.




My favorite thing of all about Camryn lately is snuggle time at bed. It's the only time during the day where she'll let me hug her. She never wants to let go either. Oftentimes I'll crawl into bed with her and hold her until she falls asleep - it's so peaceful. I'm so happy that I've got a little girl! I love you Camarondi!

When Life Hands You Lemons...

Easter just kind of crept up on us this year! It was an interesting Easter this go around. Memorable is a better description. So what are the "lemons" in my Easter "When Life Hands You Lemons" post you wonder? The first is the terrible, horrible no good very bad weather we've been experiencing around here lately. It freak'n dumped 8 inches the other day and it looks like more snow this week - doesn't feel like Spring to me!

The second "lemon" was Joel's accidental sign-up for a moonlighting shift on Easter morning - oops! He didn't even realize that he had scheduled a shift on the holiday until it was too late - who would've thunk the Easter Bunny would come in the middle of March? His intentions were good and we certainly needed the money so we decided to make some "lemonade" out of our 2nd "lemon."

Joel headed to work Easter morning with a trunk loaded with eggs, baskets and presents. His mission was to engineer a really cool egg hunt for the kids - which he pulled off quite well I might add. As a side note: We could do an egg hunt because this particular hospital where Joel moonlights is pretty empty -the first (out of 5 or something) floor is the only one used for patients. The entire 2nd floor is for the sole doc that's working the shift. It's really nice for us when we visit because the kids get to run around, find all sorts of abandoned medical equipment and have wheelchair races up and down the halls - perfect for an egg hunt.

So we spent Easter morning with our Daddy hunting for eggs & eating way too much candy (especially Christian - he was blissfully occupied with the first treasure he discovered). I managed to throw in there a nice little lesson (with visuals I might add) about the real Easter Story. We ended our morning with a brunch in the cafeteria catered by the one and only McDonalds - yummy! The kids were so full from their candy fest up on the 2nd floor, that they didn't eat much. Joel and I ended up eating most of their food - mmm... there is nothing like cold pancakes with margarine smeared all over them! The sad thing is that we had such a pleasant morning together and then Joel and I ruined it by getting annoyed with each other as we were ready to leave. Things were made worse by having a terrible, horrible, no good very bad afternoon at church. Ahhhh - it was just one of those days. I got over it when Joel came home that evening with roses - nice touch babe!







We didn't get a chance to dye easter eggs until today. We made it our Family Home Evening activity. It, like our Easter weekend, started off really terribly (Camryn knocked the cup of hot pink dye into Joel's lap - staining his clothes and hands. And Christian kept throwing our hard boiled eggs around the room - here come more ants!). But in the end we ended up having a good time and the kids finally ate something healthy - some incredible edible eggs.

So when life hands you lemons, I guess it's best to make lemonade - no matter how tart!

~Happy Easter

Ants and a 5 Legged Pony...

So the weather is finally improving around these parts and that means ants are starting to invade our lovely apartment. So the other morning JD refused to eat his breakfast because a pile of ants were feasting on a piece of watermelon that hadn't been cleaned up the night before. While he was whining to me, my mind drifted back to a time in my life when I learned some important lessons about ants and a 5 legged pony.

I told him, "Dude, you need to suck it up and eat your breakfast! I used to eat ants in my cereal when I was younger!" He kind of looked at me like "OK, I'm listening." So I told him about the first apartment that Joel and I lived in after we were married. It was this reject basement apartment from the 70's. The owner was this nice old lady named Beverly. We had to pay our rent in cash so that she wouldn't have to report it as income - I liked her. I had to take her to the emergency room one day because she nearly cut off her thumb cutting an apple.

Anyway, she owned a shetland pony and a large garden. We were the lucky recipients of all the fun creatures that migrate towards gardens: Spiders (freak'n weird looking ones too), ants, worms, mice and more ants. I remember vacuuming one morning and I stepped on a freaky redish looking spider. I sucked it up right away.

When I was student teaching, I remember eating a lovely bowl of Corn Flakes before heading off to my school in the country (think Napolean Dynamite) when I looked down and noticed I had been eating a bowl crawling with ants! I didn't keep eating it like I told JD - I spat it out! I looked in the cereal box and sure enough, it was full of them. I looked in the cupboard, and sure enough, it was crawling with them. In fact, most of the cupboards were crawling with ants! I think I just just shut the cupboard and ran away to school - ignorance is bliss.

So as I'm writing this, I'm watching 2 ants crawling with glee on the wall in front of me. I've already killed a dozen today. Pretty soon the entire colony will come marching in - just like last year - shiver!

So you're probably wondering what lesson I learned from a 5 legged pony. I learned how to play the guitar in college (that's not the lesson). I love playing and singing with my guitar - it takes me to my happy place. I have no recollection of how I started doing this, but one day my shetland pony looked sad so I sang it a song. He seemed so happy to hear my lovely melody on the guitar - you know happily frolicking around on his 4 little legs. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, I was even amazed at how fab I was sounding when I glanced up and saw my sweet 4 legged pony had grown another leg. It took me a while to understand. Unless you've seen this phenomenon, you'd never believe it - he really had another leg that touched the ground!

Joel was fixing our car (that was held together in parts by a hanger) one afternoon. I decided to demonstrate my new trick. I sang my pony a song and he was happy......Joel laughed.

My dad still makes fun of me and my pony. Huh Dad...I know you're reading this. Have you figured out how to leave a comment yet?

So I learned that ants never travel alone and that 5 legged ponies can't be trusted.