Sweet Memories of Marion Passey...

Joel's gammy passed away last night and Joel and I have had the day to process it fully. We've both shed tears of sadness of love lost, but we're so happy that she is out of pain and cruis'n around heaven in a red sports car! Joel and I loved "our" gammy so much. We have so many fond memories of her and her legacy will live on.


I have always had a close connection with Great Gammy because she was such a spitfire - I loved it! She learned through her life to get things done - something I greatly admire. She had the courage to raise her two youngest daughters on her own. She did a pretty darn good job too. My heart is full of gratitude for her faith in joining the church while living in California. It was a time of stress and heartache. Because of her commitment, she gave the gift of the gospel to her posterity.


We loved getting random phone calls from her during our years in med school and residency. She was a published author of 6 children's books and was always excited to share her latest story with us. I found her work to be so witty and humorous - I know where Cristie (Joel's mom) and Joel get it from! I still don't know how each of her stories wasn't published immediately - they are truly wonderful. I learned a lot about the publishing industry through her experiences. We spent the day today searching the internet and buying 5 copies each of all (except for one) of her published books for our posterity. She authored the following books...



I hope we'll make it a priority to publish the rest of her stories someday. If I know her daughters, I'm sure it will happen. I hope to be a part of it.

Her stories aren't the only thing that will live on. Whenever we would visit, she was always excited to show us her latest cross stitch masterpiece. She definitely had some works of art in her repertoire. She was kind enough to share a cross stitch of Christ with us one year. I had it beautifully framed for Joel last Christmas and it is the first thing you see when you enter our home. I love that she is still with us. She painted these exquisite nativity sets for her family. We adore ours and think of her every time we admire it. I just noticed today that we have a similarly painted cookie jar on our countertop that she gave us years ago. All of these things are so loved by us.


Yes, these "things" help us remember our gammy, but you can't take "things" with you when you pass on. I'm so grateful Joel and I could visit Gammy one last time before Christmas. She was going downhill quickly and was suffering with a great deal of pain. She was lucid and showed us that day that she still had some humor left in her! How blessed are we to have been able to say our "good-bye's" before her passing. It was sad to see her like that. She was so tired. Because of that I'm glad she could go relatively quickly. My last visual memory was of her wrapped in the warm blue blanket we brought to keep her comfortable during her final days. I hope it did just that.


We're so grateful to the Law family (Joel's aunt) for taking such great care of her all of these years. Many thanks particularly to Aunt Melanie and Uncle David for all of the commitment they showed through the years and more specifically, those last few weeks. You guys are amazing. Also, a big thanks to Stan and Cristie (Joel's parents) for watching over her that last night. I'm so glad Stan could be there to make her passing more comfortable.

It's never easy to lose a loved one, but once the grief subsides it's easy to ponder the meaning of eternal life. I pray that my life can have meaning when I pass. I hope to make my posterity proud of me like we are of Gammy. I want to end my tribute with a sweet thought from Joel's brother, Matt. It sums up our feelings beautifully:

Thank you for giving me The Church
Thank you for giving me my mom
Thank you for believing in me
Thank you for living a hard life to give me a better one
Thank you for your stories
Thank you for your poems
Thank you for the memories
Thank you for giving me my life
Thank you for loving me before you knew me
I will miss you, Gammy
We will all miss you

Christmas Traditions...

As I sit here waiting for my kidlins to fall asleep this Christmas Eve, I'm feeling the need to record some of our Christmas traditions. I love traditions. Oftentimes it's what binds families together. Joel and I are lucky because we come from great families with established holiday traditions to draw upon each season. Having lived away from most of our family for the last 8 years has forced us to create some traditions of our own. This blending of the old and new has resulted in a unique combination that I happen to love and hope to continue through the years.

Long before I married Joel, I used to travel up to Billings, Montana to spend Christmas with the Gardners. Christmas with Gardners was CRAZY - and wonderful at the same time. So many presents, so much wrapping the night before! Cristie (Joel's mom) started one of my favorite traditions. On every present given is a funny way to write each person's name. Here are some examples from under our tree this year:

To: Joellie old St. Jollieus
From: Hamburger Heather

To: Cool Cat Camryn
From: Jack-in-the-Box JD

To: Courageous Christian
From: Jovial Joellie

To: Spank me if you can Spencer
From: Muchas Gracias Mom and Daring Dad

You get the point. I love it because it's silly and the kids think it's fabulous.

Another that we have borrowed from Joel's family is the favorite cereal tradition. Everyone wakes up to a box of their favorite cereal in their stocking - makes breakfast so easy!

Joel's favorite is usually Lucky Charms

Heather's favorite is usually Golden Grahams

JD's favorite is usually Cookie Crisp

Camryn and Christian usually end up with some random box of cereal that I never buy like Captain Crunch or Trix

Spencer will most likely end up eating the leftovers on the floor!

Having lived away from family for so long, we've had to come up with some of our own traditions. We've chosen to have them center around Christ on Christmas Eve. I wanted to make our first Christmas Eve in Pennsylvania special so I came up with a few things that we've kept going these last 5 years.

Christmas Eve is all about the Savior in our family. We start off with some fun secular music like Rudolph, Santa Claus is Comin' to town etc. Next we talk about the symbols of Christmas and how they all point to Christ and the ultimate gift he gave by sacrificing his life for us. We usually illustrate this by using different ornaments that the kids get to put on a tree. Each ornament symbolizes something about the season and Christ. The final ornament is a gift box representing the gifts we receive and give at Christmastime. We then bring out Jesus' stocking. It's pure white and full of our written "gifts" that we promise to give him with the upcoming year. We review the previous year's gifts and write down the new year's gifts. Here are the "gifts" we promise to give Jesus this year:

Joel: To share his testimony in sacrament meeting

Heather: To focus on speaking kind words to my family

JD: To provide service to neighbors like shoveling their driveways after a snowstorm

Camryn: To pay tithing

Christian: To give lots of hugs (his gift last year too!)

Spencer: To keep us laughing with funny faces

Grandma Bagley: To be more patient with Grandpa

Grandpa Bagley: To unite our family through genealogy work

Following this, we always act out the Christmas story found in Luke 2. We get dressed up and everything - towels on the head and all (a tradition borrowed from Joel's family). This year, Christian was Joseph, I was Mary, Camryn was an angel, JD was a shepherd, Joel was the narrator and an old raggedy ann doll was baby Jesus. We work with what we've got man! After this we usually sing some sacred carols like Silent Night - it's wonderful.

Next comes the reindeer food. I don't remember how this one started, but the kids love it. We usually mix our own food: oatmeal, brown sugar and carrots. The kids go outside and carefully place the food in what they think is the perfect spot for Santa's reindeer. Once the kids are in bed, Joel goes outside and makes it look like the reindeer stopped by for a snack - he even puts tracks in the snow. The kids always check to see if the reindeer came before they open their presents in the morning. I hope we continue this even when the kids are older!

Finally, the kids carefully place their stockings out for Santa to fill. They love this because Santa is the one who fills stockings in our house - Mom and Dad are the ones who provide the presents. JD is starting to catch on to how things really operate, but I think he chooses to just go along with it. Camryn keeps asking questions like, "Can Santa hear us right now? How does Santa come in our house - it's always locked?" Christian asks tons of questions like, "Where does Santa live? Where is the North Pole? Why does he want to live where it's so cold? What does he look like? That wasn't really Santa at the Christmas party was it?" The list goes on. And on. And on. I personally think the whole thing is so funny - a strange man breaking into your house to leave presents for good little boys and girls. So I usually answer with, "What do you think?" Works like a charm.

These wonderful traditions make Christmas feel important and meaningful. I'm sure we'll continue with the "old" and perhaps add some "new" as the years go on. For now I must end this entry because Mr. and Mrs. Claus need to fill the stockings and enjoy some yummy German cookies uncle Frankie gave us to nibble on tonight.

Merry Christmas!

The Spirit of the Season...

I love Christmastime - there are so many opportunities to serve others and experience wonderful music! I feel so lucky to have experienced all of the above in my little Poky!

Our family has been so moved by the outpouring of support for a young family in our church that is going through a huge trial right now. The young father of 2 contracted the swine flu in October and things went downhill quickly. It eventually turned in pneumonia and was complicated by acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS). He was transferred to Colorado for further treatment. His poor little family - how scary it must be to see your strong, healthy father/husband get completely wiped out. I've been so proud of how our ward family and community has taken care of them. There have been numerous prayers, fasting and monetary contributions to assist the family. Imagine having the main source of income completely gone for months. Not to mention the insurmountable medical bills!

A few days ago, his employer hosted a benefit dinner. Half of Poky showed up - it was advertised on the front page of the local paper (a nice perk living in a smaller town). It was very moving to experience. I loved that my kids appreciated the spirit of service for this family. One of the coolest things about the evening was when we were paying for our dinner I glanced over at their family picture and realized that I had never even met this family! Here we had been donating money, praying for and cooking a ton of cinnamon rolls on behalf of this family that we didn't even know! That is so awesome!

He was transferred back to Poky this weekend. He's very weak and has long recovery ahead of him, but he's alive and has the support of an entire community is behind him. What a wonderful reminder of the important things to reflect upon this season.

On a lighter note, I've been so energized by all of the music surrounding me lately. I haven't been able to focus on music in a long time and I've been reintroduced. I must say that it's a part of my life that provides such positive energy - I'm so excited to focus on it more. Joel bought me the best (early) Christmas present a couple of months ago: a beautiful baby grand piano. It (and the kitchen) is the center of our home - I love it so much! We all play it.



JD and I take guitar lessons together and I am loving it! Initially JD wasn't so much, but something clicked and he is starting to enjoy it. I think it helps that he can actually play some songs now. It is so dang cool to play variations on the 12 bar blues together. Eric, our teacher comes up to our house every week and he's great for JD. I can't wait to see what the future will hold for our little stringed duo! I hope Joel will pick up the guitar again and we can make it a trio (hint, hint Joel :) I love this picture from years ago. I had no idea at the time it was taken that my JD and I would be playing actual music together! I hope we'll be able to have many more pics like this to come.



In the spirit of the season, I attended a surprisingly cool Messiah sing-in. Poky has culture I'm telling you - it's surprising! Hundreds and hundreds of people showed up at the beautiful performing arts center to enjoy one of the funnest pieces of music to sing at Christmastime. I was so happy! The soloists were taken from ISU faculty and they were great. The choir (the audience members) was a bit rusty, but that didn't stop us from trying! I have sung the Messiah (choir and solo) many times through the years, but I realized it had been way too long since the last time I had sung it. There were moments where the people around me (including myself) were laughing because we weren't exactly sure what was coming out of our mouths! The amazing thing was that there were also moments when my voice just kind of took over and I was singing things I had forgotten I knew. As I was singing I kept thinking, "How am I remembering this?" It was kind of groovy. I guess my brain has some hope after all. Christmas just isn't Christmas without the Messiah - welcome back Handel my friend!



Joel and I enjoyed a fun Christmas concert with some friends the other night. Kurt Bestor came up to Poky and we had front row tickets (much easier to do in a smaller city!). It brought back so many memories - we've been absent from Utah culture for so long. His music took me back 15 years ago to when Joel took me to his Christmas concert in Salt Lake. It's fun connecting to my roots again. After the concert, Kurt Bestor signed a couple of cd's I purchased - another perk living in a smaller city.



Finally, I took JD and Camryn to their first Nutcracker ballet. A Russian group performed it at the performing arts center. It was so dang fun! We all got dressed up and had a nice dinner date prior to the performance. I know they had a great time and enjoyed the beginning of a tradition in the making. JD laughed at the tight pants the boys had to wear. Typical. Camryn kept comparing everything to her Barbie, the Nutcracker movie. Funny. I'm mad I didn't take a picture of the three of us. Next year for sure.

I love this season - the sights, the service, the music - it's wonderful!
Merry Christmas to me!

Thanksgiving Done Right...

Joel and I have always wanted to host a ginormous Gardner bash - not a small undertaking considering there are 31 of us (and growing)! So since we finally have a house that will fit more than 3 people, we invited the crew. It was tons of work to prepare and clean-up for our guests, but you can judge from the million pictures below if we thought it was worth it.

Neither Joel nor I had ever cooked a turkey prior to this past weekend. Scary considering it's kind of the star of the show. After doing some research, we decided to go with the classic brining technique (soaking the meat in a combination of water, sugar, salt and spices). This bucket was the only one we had that was big enough to hold the 24 pound bird. It was brand new - makes me feel better anyway.



And of course, the meal was what the whole weekend was about. We had so much dang food, it actually fed us (and that's saying a lot) for like 2 days - turkey gravy and all! In fact, Joel and I are still trying to figure out what to do with all of our remaining turkey. Ideas?

Going back for 2nd, 3rd and more helpings...
This is how we all felt once the first dinner was over - so full!
And the tryptophan has kicked in...

And to work off all of those extra calories...time to play some games...


Learning wii tennis through osmosis...isn't this supposed to ruin your eyes or something?



Whenever we get together, someone inevitably busts out the grapes for tossing... look closely, you can actually see the grape mid-air!

Where there are Gardners...music will be also.
I don't think my piano and guitars have ever seen so much action before!
I loved that Camryn got to play some duets with Grandpa and Auntie Brit.


So the day after Thanksgiving we celebrated my neice's birthday at Camryn's gymnastics facility. It should look familar - JD's party was here too. We had so much dang fun flippin' and jumpin' around - I totally felt like a kid again. There was a zip line, half pipe, huge foam pit (the favorite), trampolines and more. I even did a flip through a hole and into the big pit. I defy gravity - I laugh at you old age!




Go Grandpa, Go Grandpa!

My Joellie doing a flip into the pit!
Time to get creative with the mats...
Look how happy I am - I'm about to do a front flip!
I hadn't done one of those in like 20 years! It felt great!

This is why I love my big Gardner Fam! They're goofy, gracious (thanks for the thank-you notes!), uplifting and fun! This is why we moved closer to family...




We had such a great time - thanks for all of the memories!