Spotlight of the Month: My Mama!

Well considering the nature of this weekend's holiday, I felt it would be quite appropriate to honor my own madre.




My mom pretty much rocks. She raised 7 kids - enough said. She survived 7 pregnancies, 7 toddlers, 7 teenagers and 7 weddings. There has got to be some kind of "Is That Even Possible" Award that she should win. Now that I'm a mother, I so appreciate the magnitude of raising one kid, let alone 7!

We share 2 professions: Mothering and teaching. I say this because I know she is completely burned out from school right now and maybe this can lift her spirits - I KNOW exactly how you feel Mom!

So I've discovered something about mothering: WE JUST WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED AND APPRECIATED! I know you're nodding your head in agreement right now if you're a mom. Good mothers are the ultimate examples of service - usually thankless! So here are 7 (see the pattern??) random acts of service that you did for me over the last 33 years. These are totally random memories that I plucked out of my attic of a brain today...

1. You used to sit in the hallway and read stories like Winnie the Pooh and such as part of our bedtime routine. I recognize now how amazing that was considering how tired you must have been at the end of each day - 7 kids still blows my mind.

2. You are a great example of obedience. I remember a time when you wanted us to read the Book of Mormon. Consequently, each Family Home Evening was dedicated to achieving that goal. I think it took us 6 years or something, but hey, better late then never! You always tried to do the right thing. We noticed.

3. This one baffles me: We always had meals prepared for us! I know that sounds simplistic, but DANG is all I have to say. There are days when I want to hurl at the thought of preparing another meal! I remember having warm breakfasts when I was little, fresh bread, weird homemade yogurt and of course, our traditional Sunday roast.

4. You paid for all of my singing lessons with your own money. I have such fond memories of my musical experiences because of those lessons. I think it paid off, because I remember all the times you cried while listening to me perform. Or could it have been sorrow at all that wasted money?? Hmmm...

5. I recall being financially saved a few times during medical school. Those random checks really helped out!

6. I'm so grateful that I'm independent and not afraid to "get in and work!" I'm pretty sure I got that from you. If you wanted something, you just did it. Yard work, housework, education, vacationing, it didn't matter, if you wanted it, you'd find a way to get it done. That's probably one of the greatest legacies you could have left me. I love knowing that I can stand on my own two feet and do anything I want to do if I just work.

7. Oh and there was that little thing a few years back when you donated your kidney so that I could keep mine for a bit longer. Just a small thing.




What can I say, my Mom rocks! So I hope you have a relaxing, memorable and joyous Mother's Day. I know you won't get around to reading this any time soon so Dad, tell Mom to read this will ya??

Sorry, I couldn't resist!

I love you!

Oh Boy, I've Got Joy...

So I had the privilege of being one of Camryn's Joy School teachers this year. Joy School is a preschool curriculum where the teachers are the students' mothers (basically, a preschool co-op). We had our fun little graduation this week and I can't believe it's actually over! The year completely flew by. We were fortunate to have a fantastic group of preschoolers and teachers. We didn't have any serious issues with discipline (students or teachers!) and the moms were pretty laid back and agreeable about everything. I couldn't have asked for a better year.

I spent a chunk of time putting together a cute DVD as a graduation present for the teachers and preschoolers. It turned out really cute and I got a lot of satisfaction knowing that our little preschoolers experienced a year of learning about the "joys" of the world together.

So here's to you my Joy School Posse....you rocked my year!

So we'd always start our day with a welcome song. This gave the kids an opportunity to open their "Joy School Window" signaling the start of school. I really enjoyed this part of the day. I' had so much fun with the kids while we were singing...they totally ate it up!

This is the Joy School weather, calendar, helper chart. Each child had his own specific job to accomplish on the chart. They really got into this - and never tired of it either! It was hilarious to see the kids race to the window to figure out the weather of the day. Camryn was sooooo excited when Joy School was at our house because that meant she was the designated "snack helper." In fact, there were MANY nights where she'd cry to me, "...but I want Joy School to be at my house!" At first I thought it was because she liked me best - HA! Actually, it was because she wanted to be the "snack helper" every week! Funny girl.

They were always excited to do any kind of craft or art activity - who isn't at that age?? I busted out the play-doh on occasion, but they had the opportunity to do so many other fun activities throughout the year too.


"Free Time" was a favorite of the preschoolers. They got to do whatever they wanted during free play time. It served a great purpose: They were forced to get along with each other! It was usually a time of smiles and laughter, but it did get ugly a few times too! Good times. Outside free play was always a favorite...


We had some cute little programs throughout the year. It usually consisted of a few songs and always ended with some treats. I'll let you guess what the kids liked the best.

Halloween...

Thanksgiving...

Christmas

And of course....Graduation...


Here are the amazing teachers on graduation day....
I was the group leader and I loved working with these guys....
I felt like we just kicked back and enjoyed the year...

And here is a shot of the whole gang....


I truly loved teaching these little dudes - I grew quite fond of each one of them. I loved loved loved the enthusiasm they brought to each and every lesson. I completely enjoyed the cute songs that were incorporated into each lesson (I actually thought they were totally cheesy initially, but they really grew on me). I have gotten so much joy out of listening to Camryn sing the songs in random places...like on the toilet. Anyway, the best part of this whole experience was bonding with my baby girl. She told me I was her favorite teacher.
It doesn't get much better than that!

There's No Place Like Home...

My neighbor and I always joke about how this jive village that we live in is total WT land (translation: white trash land). I say this with nothing but love in my heart - really. And by the way, this is an equal opportunity WT Land - no discriminating here. If you've visited or lived here, you are laughing right now because you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

The catalyst for my writing this post was a special little event that happened when I took Christian, Camryn and a friend of Camryn's (let's call her, oh I don't know..."Gabby") to one of the many fine playgrounds here in Northwood V. I was catching up with an old friend on the phone when our pleasant conversation was interrupted with,

Me: Oh my holy freak'n crap!

Old Friend: What???

Me: I swear, this place rocks, Camryn and her friend "Gabby" are standing next to a tree and "Gabby" is totally taking a pee! Right in front of someone's apartment!

Old Friend: just laughing

While I fully understand that kids will be kids, the reason why this joint gets the title WT Land is because while "Gabby" was relieving herself, someone walked by and, well, it just didn't seem to phase him......Nice.

So in true Jeff Foxworthy fashion, here is my rendition of YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN WT LAND WHEN...


You have no problem nailing your strips of used carpet to the floor.

Your kids' good friends are the chipmunks that seem to have forgotten that they're wild little animals.

You are advised by fellow Northwoodians to drill holes in your living room floor to run cable and computer wire "stuff" to the dungeon downstairs.

In buying a portable dishwasher, you double your kitchen counter top space.

The first thing your 2 year old does when he sees a spider is run for the nearest shoe - and then flick the carcass down the hole you just drilled for your cable wires.

You have no problem killing ants with your bare hands.

You have to plunge the toilet BOTH before and after doing your business.

Outsiders, having never shopped at a WT Land garage sale, have a hard time distinguishing between garbage and what's for sale.

Your son comes home from school and asks, "Hey wasn't that toy kitchen at the dumpster yesterday?" Then you excitedly declare, "Yes, wasn't it a great find!"

When grocery carts are used as dollies for transporting heavy objects.

When you take you children for walk and your kid asks, "Mommy, why are there so many grocery carts behind the dumpster?" And you find comfort in the fact that you won't have to look far for a "dollie" when you move.

When the reason you're excited for someone to move is so that you'll be able to "steal" their rocks for your own garden when they leave. Thank goodness for shopping carts.

When the other reason why you're excited for someone to move is so that you can "steal" the plants out of their garden.

When you find your kid playing in your neighbor's trash that got ripped apart by a raccoon the night before.


OK, OK, I swear I could go on and on, but I think I peed a little, so I must stop. Joel, get the plunger ready.

Oh sweet mercy, I love living here!

Gratitude...

So I've been stuck in a "blah" place this last month. I know it's going to get better soon because my "blahness" will be replaced with gratitude that we have our Joellie back. He's been on his OB rotation this month and I've HATED it! He's been gone constantly (it seems anyway). His last day is Thursday and then we'll be able to enjoy "family time" again.

The weather has been so incredible this last week so I just can't allow myself to feel this "blahness" any longer! So even though Joel will be home more next month, I know that I have to figure out a way to bust out of the mundane entirely on my own. Something that usually works with me is to verbalize or write down the things for which I am grateful....

Quiet time in the afternoon when Christian is sleeping and Camryn is off playing with friends.

Taking care of my tiny, but thriving spring garden.

Getting a pedicure with good friends.

Enjoying a beautiful spring evening outside with friends and family.

Waking up to the sounds of birds singing and the sun creeping through my blinds.

And finally, I'm grateful to my great family and friends that made my 33rd (I know, I'm getting old!) birthday special. I was all alone (Joel was on call - like last year) on my birthday and I just figured it was going to suck again. Thankfully, the weather was beautiful and I kept getting little surprises throughout the day.

My cute neighbors got the kids to decorate a fun poster card for me. JD made me 2 hilarious birthday cards. In fact, I'm going to take a picture of them so that I'll always remember how dang cute he can be. He made me a "Champion" card because he said I'm the best mom in the world! How cute! He made the 2nd card quite early Saturday morning while I was still asleep. It has a built-in spring attached so that, "...when you shake it, it bounces up and down."

Joel surprised me with a new pocket camera and some amazing tulips. Some great friends surprised me with more beautiful tulips, a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble and a cool bookmark (they know me so well!). I received quite a few cards, ecards and phone calls throughout the day from the awesome people in my life. I just loved my birthday this year because I was reminded that I have wonderful folks surrounding me.

And that is certainly something to be grateful for.

Wow, it worked...I'm in a good mood already!

Bye-Bye Uncle 'Thaniel!

Darn it...I didn't keep my original goal of posting at least once a week. I'm such a loser! Why do I even wake up in the morning?? Well, if it helps we were having way too much fun with our favorite uncle (sorry, did that offend anyone??.....ok, ONE of our favorite uncles) - Nathaniel.

So Joel's little bro Nathaniel is leaving us for 2 years! He's giving up his fun life at BYU, his cute little girlfriend and all of his adoring nieces and nephews to serve the Lord in Korea! We'll miss him tons, but are so excited to be part of his experience. The kids want to write him and Joel and I really want to visit him in Korea when he's done.

We decided to fly Nathaniel out for a few days so that we could make a few memories before his departure. We took lots of pictures and had a great time catching up. Here are some of the pictures we took during our festivities:

Loves with Christian at Jungle Java, puzzles with Camryn
and making these adorable little bread bunnies with JD.

Joel was on call on Sunday so we went to the hospital to eat lunch
with our daddy. We also stopped by the CVC atrium to get some great photos:

Oh how cute...this was taken when Christian was born.
They haven't changed much - still cute as ever

We had to do a "trade" with Gammy (she lives 2 hours away) and
say good-bye to our Nathaniel. We had a nice lunch together,
shed a few tears in the parking lot and sent him on his way.

On a personal note, I just love Nathaniel! He's like the little brother I never had (ha ha..just kidding Frank!). We lived in Cleveland together for 2 months while Joel jumped around on different medical rotations. He put up with my "moodiness" (honestly....my "breakdowns"). We were so desperate to get out of the house that I finally rented a car and took him with us (JD, Camryn & moi) to totally lame activities around Ohio. We even ventured to a mailbox factory that didn't even exist!

Good times.

He has changed so dramatically since that time! He has turned into this awesome young man. He has a clear vision for his life (as much as you can at this stage I guess) and isn't afraid of anything. He is going to redefine what it means to be a missionary (in a good way!). It's what he was born to do! We love him tremendously and hope he follows in Joel's footsteps to become a doctor - just so we can keep him close!

We love you Nathaniel & good luck in Korea!

This is a clip of what Nathaniel got to do for 3 days straight.
I thought it was GREAT, but I think Nathaniel got worn out!

Suck it up and keep running...

So for the last 2 days (give or take a few!), I've been feeling sorry for myself - way too much. It came to a head today and I was blessed by the good Lord with some perspective.

Joel has one year (actually 15 months, but who's counting!) of residency left. While this is terribly exciting for us (considering the 7 years we've been at this), reality is stomping on our blissful dreams.

There is this powerful force that has gotten me through 7 years of medical school and residency: Being able to envision what life will be like when we're done. I don't mean that in a materialistic "Oooo look at all the things I can buy" kind of way, but in a "I'm so grateful for security, education and freedom" kind of way. Like an arrival of sorts. I think anyone that sacrifices a great deal of time, money and energy for what they think will provide a better life for their family understands what I'm talking about. This powerful force has gotten me through some pretty stressful times over the past few years - you know "mind over matter" stuff.

Anyway, so once reality hit me about what life will truly be like in the "real world," I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for a few days. For some strange reason I've been holding onto this false notion that the heavens will open and pour sweet manna down on the Gardner clan simply for graduating from residency into private practice. Over these last few years, I've been thinking of our experience as a journey with a distinct end in sight. However, my perspective shifted today and I'm grateful for that.

I've been lucky enough to have quite a few friends warn me that once you get into the "real world" life doesn't change a whole lot from residency, "...sure you get paid more, but you are responsible for PAYING for a whole lot more than ever before...oh, and your husband actually has to work all the time to PAY for everything!" So now that we're to the point of seeking out future employment, my blissfully happy world that I have carefully envisioned for ourselves is reeking of reality.

I've been looking at real estate on-line for the last few days in locations that we would consider living. Not a good idea when you still have 15 months left! The only thing it has done is make me long to bust out of this place while at the same time depressing me that we won't be able to afford a big old 20,000 sq ft. house (ok, I'm exaggerating, but you get the point) like I had "envisioned" all these years. Also, I've realized that Joel will still have to be "on call" in the real world. I have no idea how I didn't allow this to sink in until now, but it's been really depressing me to know that I'll never get my husband 100% of the time when he's home - he'll have "home call" and "weekend call" to deal with.

These thoughts of self pity put me in such a bad mood! Joel came home this morning from being on-call for 24 hours and could tell that I was tired and depressed so he offered to take the kids to breakfast so I could rest - such a nice guy. I indulged myself to wallow for a bit and acted like a turd - as thanks. Our day could have been ruined, but the Lord decided to teach me a lesson instead.

The only thing I hate worse about being around people who complain and are depressed all the time is when I'm the person doing the complaining. So, while I was putting Christian down for his nap this afternoon, I prayed (something I do a lot when I rock my kids), "Lord, help me change this attitude - help me be grateful for what I have!"

So the Lord recognized this "teaching moment" and blessed me with a more powerful and accurate "vision" for my future. This is what it was...

So imagine you've been running in a race and you're tired and the only thing that has kept you going is the freak'n awesome music on your iPod AND the realization that the finish line is just around the corner. So imagine your disappointment upon arrival when the crowd doesn't jump up and down and shower you with praise. Instead, there is a single person there to inform you that the race isn't over. The person points to a huge mountain in the distance and tells you that the finish line is on the other side of the mountain. So you think to yourself, "OK, what kind of choice am I going to make - what kind of person do I want to be?" My attitude adjusted immediately. I love the way the Lord works.

I came downstairs and my conversation with Joel went something like this:
Heather: Well.....I repented
Joel: It's about time.
Heather: I had an epiphany.
Joel: Oh really - what's that?

I shared my story and then asked,

Heather: So what kind of woman do you think I decided to be? The one who fell apart at what she thought was the finish line, or the one who kept running?"

As any good husband would answer,

Joel: The one who kept running.

Heather: Actually, both. I'm the one who cried when the mean messenger man broke my spirit. I'm the one who got ticked and told the annoying messenger where to go. I'm the one who finally decided to "suck it up and keep running" because the alternative sucked even worse. AND, most importantly, I'm the one who repented while I was running because I wasn't very nice to the messenger.

Joel: Nice analogy.... So was I running beside you towards the big mountain?

Joel probably wishes I would be "that girl" that says stuff like, "Of course my love - you encourage and inspire me like no other!" But, he knows me all too well...

Heather: Ummm, I didn't really notice, I was too busy pushing a stroller - oh, with a kid strapped to my back too!

We both laughed.

That was how my paradigm shifted. There is no "finish line" in life - just big mountains we have to climb. We also get sweet hills to "coast" down, but sadly those sweet moments don't usually elicit repentance and paradigm shifts. At least not for me. I think the Lord likes to "toughen" us up. After all, of what use are we to Him if we're just a bunch of wimps!

I love how the Lord works: He waits for us to be humble and ask for help. When that actually happens, we can be taught.

Spotlight of the Month: Camryn...

I've been busy creating a DVD for Camryn this last month, so it's only natural that she is the spotlight for the month of April. I have been getting a kick out of sifting through old pictures and video clips of my little chiquita banana these last few weeks. It's been enjoyable to take a trip down memory lane...


When I found out that I was going to have a little girl, I experienced a brief moment of shock. For some strange reason, I had envisioned myself as being a mother of boys. So when the ultrasound tech announced we were going to have a girl, I was completely surprised. What was I supposed to do with a girl? The circumstances around the time of my pregnancy with Camryn were less than ideal. It was Joel's 2nd year of med school (which ranks up there as one of the worst years of my life - THE worst was his 1st year of med school!) and I was commuting an hour each day to work (in a car with an air conditioner that worked about 2/3 of the time - not fun in Arizona!).



When Camryn was born, I was an official stay-at-homer. I was grateful for that - I was ready to move on from teaching. It took JD some time to adjust to his new role as big brother, but he eventually learned that kicking his sister in the face (sad, but true) and rough housing with an infant quickly changed his happy little world into...well, you get the point...so did he...eventually. Once JD made the transition from beating his sister to protecting her, I knew they would be good buds. That they are.



Camryn is quite a little social butterfly. She is obsessed with playing with friends. Thankfully we live in a community that is ideal for that. She's got at least a dozen friends within walking distance that she can play with on any given day. In fact she's at her good buddy Brittani's house as I write this! Sometimes I eavesdrop on her play dates just so I can get a laugh. It usually works - kids really do say the darndest things!

There are so many things I love about Camryn. She used (and I am very sad that she quit) to make her own & JD's bed in the morning because she heard her mother calling him a stinker for not making his bed.


I love how she takes a bath with all of her 23 little ponies and insists on washing and combing each of their manes before getting out. I love how she says, "Come find me, I'm hiding," even though it's totally obvious where she is (usually behind the couch).




I love her quirky sense of style. She has quite a talent with putting together interesting outfits - matched by her rock'n awesome pink barbie cowboy boots (that christian likes to wear). She loves to eat cucumbers & carrots with Ranch dressing ("white sauce") and chocolate milk for breakfast. I love how she triple headbands her hair and tells me that she's prettier than me, "...but you're still pretty Mom, you can keep trying to look like me." She loves to be the "snack helper" at Joyschool & asks every week if we're going to be the "hosts" for her school friends.


I love how she asks me to play with her because she knows she can boss me around and I'll do what she asks. I've learned in my old age that it's so much easier to just go along with it. I love that once she decides that she can indeed play alone, she'll play and sing to herself for hours.




My favorite thing of all about Camryn lately is snuggle time at bed. It's the only time during the day where she'll let me hug her. She never wants to let go either. Oftentimes I'll crawl into bed with her and hold her until she falls asleep - it's so peaceful. I'm so happy that I've got a little girl! I love you Camarondi!